21st Century Dating

There is no doubt that thanks to the technological advances of the 21^st century the dating scene has changed. In my previous posts, I discussed how couples interact for the first time through text messages and also how long distance relationships are maintained easier with technology. About every 1 in 5 relationships begin online through either social media sites or an online dating service.

Today, when stating you met someone online is no different than expressing you met them a drunken night in a bar.  Online dating has provided the opportunity to be exposed to many different types of people you may not have had the chance to meet in an offline setting. My family friend works about 50 hours a week on night shifts so she has no time to go out to a bar with girlfriends to try and meet a guy. After realizing she did not want to be alone anymore she signed up for a dating service. She was able to meet her now steady boyfriend on the site but if she did not bother signing up who knows when she would have been able to meet someone outside of her workplace.

Another aspect to online dating that is different from years ago is that people are able to communicate with multiple people simultaneously. This concept has coined the term multi-dating. The benefit of multi-dating is that if one date goes terribly wrong, you have the ability to ask the next person on your profile out. There is a comfort in knowing that you have the chance to explore all of your options. You are also able to meet a variety of people in a short amount of time, which makes it easier to pinpoint the exact type of person you are searching for.

“The people who created the "dating multiple people at once is cool" philosophy must have been brilliant. They were able to come up with a way to keep dating vague and fun, without running the risk of getting in trouble or having other people hold it against you if you saw more than one person at a time.” –Shine.com

So far, multi-dating sounds like a breeze. However, there are downfalls to the game of multi-dating. Askmen.com has a long list of cons including, huge time commitment, expensive, risk of harming your reputation and you may pass up your soul mate if you are not giving everyone enough time or attention. 

 

Dating sites have their advantages besides being able to meet unexpected people or the ability for multi-dating. Once you have interacted with a particular person for a while online you are able to understand how the feel and the way they think in great detail since they have to write it out. If the person you are talking with does not spark your interest anymore it is much easier to back out than it would be on a real live date. You are also able to be yourself online without the fear of what to wear and how to do your hair for a night on the town in attempts to meet someone. At the point you are comfortable meeting someone in person you will feel confident and hopefully the conversation will be never ending.

Online dating has progressed throughout the years and is starting to become the norm. There have been many success stories through online interactions, just watch any online dating service commercial. 

Long Distance Relationships

Relationships in college are difficult enough to maintain when you both attend the same school, personally speaking, so I could not imagine attempting a long distance relationship. However, one of my best friends has been in a serious long distance relationship for two years and somehow is making it last. She is having better luck with her boyfriend who lives in Denver than I am having with my boy living a mile away. So, I have to ask how does one maintain a long distance relationship? Her response: constant communication. There is no doubt that with today’s modern technology maintaining a relationship is effortless compared to 50 years ago.

Shockingly, a study found that about half of college students are in a long distance relationship and 75% will be at some point. Thankfully for these couples, the availability of constant communication has progressively changed throughout the recent years.  Video conferencing programs like IChat Face Time and Skype have drastically changed the dating scene. The sight of their loved one can comfort a couple even if they are across 5 different time zones. Being a busy college student, it can be difficult to coordinate my schedule with another person so planning a regular video chat session would be critical in a long distance relationship. However, Askmen.com suggests to make sure you let your partner know in advance if you are going to miss your video chat “date” just like you would with a business or group meeting.

A Glamour Magazine reader stated, “We Skype at night as we're getting ready for bed, but we also leave it on all night to have a "sleepover." Then, we can wake up together, get ready together, and hang out when we have time in the morning. It makes a huge difference and it's lovely to see him right when I wake up, almost as if we're really together.” I am unsure of how many couples would actually take that much effort into a online date but if that is the secret to making the relationship work, I’m not judging.

The other obvious form of communication couples use is text messaging. The basic text message has also revolutionized, as programs of bbm and Imessage are becoming the norm.  There is practically no excuse not to be texting your partner at all times besides if you are in class or at work of course! These programs allow couples to send emoticons to one another so if a kiss is impossible; a kissy face emoticon implies it. Many couples also send that steamy text or "sext" to let their lover know they are thinking about them.

As I stated in a previous post, a phone call is always a nice surprise as well. Even though a traditional phone call seems extinct with all these other technological advancements, it is still critical to the success of a long distance relationship. Instant messaging is another channel to communicate with your partner during the time you spend at the computer. 

The popularity of long distance relationships are increasing and with today's technology it seems practically effortless to maintain these relationships. Of course being with your partner would be ideal but until then, be thankful for texting and video chat.