Facebook and the Workplace

As I am narrowing down my summer internship opportunities, I stumbled across an article discussing how applicants are being asked to share their Facebook passwords during an interview. Also, many companies are beginning to put a social media policy into place to protect their organization.

http://www.fastcompany.com/1668368/

According to a March 22^nd Forbes article, employers are asking potential hires to log onto their Facebook site in order to narrow down applicants. I understand that employers would like to have an understanding of what is happening online with their employees but is it too far to ask a potential employee for their password? Apparently, Maryland believes to think so. As stated in the April 16^th Washington Post article, “Employers cannot require workers and job applicants to turn over passwords to private social media accounts as a condition of employment, state legislators decided last week in the passage of a first-of-its-kind bill.” Other states that are trying to pass a similar bill are California, Illinois and Michigan.

Even though the job market is steadily improving some applicants are not able to deny access to their potential employers. There are some social media sites such as LinkedIn where I would have no problem being connected to my future employer. However, Facebook is my personal space where I am allowed to have more interactions with my friends. I am not stating that my site is inappropriate but it is more personal than my other social media profiles. I would feel comfortable friending a boss or co-worker on Facebook but I would not give up my password. I am not alone, according to a March 2012 Fox News article, 26% of younger workers (age 18-34) are more likely to friend their boss on Facebook.

www.agbeat.com

There have been numerous scandals involving politicians, journalists and celebrities regarding their use of social media. Many media outlets and large corporations have a social media policy in place but more average companies are starting to develop them as well. Companies are implementing these policies to protect themselves from potential rumors starting online. It is easier to accept a social media policy once you are employed versus during an interview.

“If you wouldn’t ask your employees for a key to their personal storage unit, their bank account password…you shouldn’t ask for first hand access to their Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or any account. Your having their password is against the policies of these social networks, even if you think it’s ethical (which it is not, even if you’re well meaning).” –AG Beat, March 2012

The issue of social media in the workplace and employers is going to be a continuous battle. As for now, I suggest you un-tag yourself from freshman year pictures and be ready for a future friend request from your boss.

Are we really friends?

The average number of Facebook friends a user has 245. This raises the question, can you really be friends with all these people. The use of social networks has allowed users to maintain their friendships with more people. However, the concept of ambient awareness develops as well. Ambient awareness is when you feel as though you are close with someone because of the constant updates on a social networking site.

Facebook allows me to know who my friends are with, Twitter lets me know when they are hungry, Pinterest displays their dinner recipe ambition, and Flickr shows me how it actually turned out. But the question is, do you really care? Probably not. Social networking sites and “check-in” apps make us believe that all this useless information is actually important.

"This is the paradox of ambient awareness. Each little update — each individual bit of social information — is insignificant on its own, even supremely mundane. But taken together, over time, the little snippets coalesce into a surprisingly sophisticated portrait of your friends’ and family members’ lives, like thousands of dots making a pointillist painting." – New York Times, 2008

http://blog.ketchum.com/

Along with social networking sites, apps are becoming popular to keep tabs on your social circle’s whereabouts. According to the March 2012 Yahoo! article, the new apps are different from Facebook check-ins and Foursquare. “Ambient awareness apps help users discover friends, friends of friends or strangers who share similar interests who are in your vicinity.” There a wide variety of these ambient awareness apps are available now a few of them are, Banjo, Intro, and Sonar.

Personally, the thought of my friends knowing where I am at all times freaks me out but there are times it could be useful. When I got my first Twitter account I had a hard time figuring out what to tweet about because I didn’t think anything I had to say would be interesting enough. To be honest, it probably isn’t but I still tweet multiple times a day. My friends feel as though they are connected with me and know exactly what is going on in my life due to the constant micro-blog updates.

The use of the social networks and apps and the concept of ambient awareness are strengthening our weak tie relationships. We are able to send birthday wishes to high school classmates we haven’t spoken to since graduation or view pictures from your former boss’ weekend vacation. Even though the constant pointless updates from these people fill our news feeds everyday, it is actually developing a sense of closeness with each other. Just don’t admit to your weak tie next time you see them that you already know everything they have been up to.

Quality Family Time

There is no doubt that technology has dramatically changed how families communicate with each other. However, it is important to discuss how the amount of time spent with technology is affecting the quality time families spend with one another.

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When I was a child, people did not depend on technology near the extent that people do today. In a modern day household there could be iPads or other branded tablets, iPods, laptops, game counsels, and TV shows that distract from daily conversations and interactions. 

Today’s families are still spending time together but it includes their gadgets as well. My family rule, (yes, I still have to follow rules at age 21) is to turn off cell phones while at the dinner table or at a restaurant. This rule was more applicable while I was still living at home a couple years ago. Now when my family eats dinner it seems as though we always end up looking at our smartphone to Google something or show off the latest app.

“One family. One room. Four screens. Four realities, basically. While it may look like some domestic version of “The Matrix” — families sharing a common space, but plugged into entirely separate planes of existence through technology — a scene like this has become an increasingly familiar evening ritual.”- NYT

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Nearly 60 percent of American families with children own two or more computers, which is not including the smartphones, iPads and other electronics that are Internet capable. Children are sitting in the same room as their parents but glued to the screens of their gaming devices while their parents frantically respond to emails. However, studies have found that families with strong interpersonal connections without technology use it to amplify their existing dynamics. The problem with technology in the household lies when families use it instead of communicating with one another.

The increasing presence of technology in family life is not all negative. Personally, the use of my smartphone and laptop allows me the ability to text, send pictures, Skype, and play games with my parents and sister even though we are hours apart. My connections with my extended family are stronger through Facebook and Skype. I rarely need to call my aunt or cousins to have a full understanding of what is going in their lives. Parents are also able to track their children’s whereabouts through GPS on their smartphones leading them to have better understanding what their children are doing.

Technology is present in our daily tasks but when quality family time is necessary, parents need to have the ambition to turn off all gadgets and distractions.

Interpersonal communication without technology is still a vital component of human behavior.

Bullying: No longer just in schoolyards

It seems as though the issue of cyber-bullying is constantly in the media. Along with new technology and the increasing popularity of social media sites cyber-bullying is becoming even more prevalent.  I have to ask though, ‘what is the exact definition of cyber-bullying?’

 “Cyber-bullying is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones.” –StopCyberBullying.org

stopcyberbullying.org logo

I was confused by this definition at first because cyber-bullying can happen to all ages. However, the site says that the term “cyber-bullying” refers to the situation when there are only minors involved. The term changes to cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking if adults become involved.

Cyber-bullying is usually easy to identify from a text message, Facebook comment, or a tweet. Other forms of cyber-bullying that is more difficult to notice is when someone is impersonating a victim or posting personal photos that are intentionally going to hurt someone. Another form of cyber-bullying that is difficult to detect and sometimes even accidental is impersonal instant messages, texts, or emails. The lack of social cues in text-only communication makes it hard to decipher a joke from a hurtful insult.

This past week Lady Gaga formally unveiled the Born This Way Foundation to combat bullying among teens. “I want to make that clear. This is: I am now a woman, I have a voice in the universe, and I want to do everything I can to become an expert in social justice and hope I can make a difference and mobilize young people to change the world.”- Lady Gaga

The effort to diminish cyber-bullying is being taken to legislatures but also preventable measures are in place in many schools across the country. Cyber-bullying affects almost half of all teens in the United States. The National Crime Prevention Council has an ongoing campaign to educate parents, schools, children and the community about cyber-bullying. California was the first state to pass a law that deals directly with cyber-bullying. The law was effective January 1, 2009 and it gives school administration the ability to suspend students for bullying online.

Killingourkids.com

It is crucial to educate people about the dangers of cyber-bullying, not only legally but also emotionally. Victims of cyber-bullying have lower self-esteem, greater risk for anxiety, depression and in rare but publicized cases higher risk of suicide. As the accessibility of technology increases so will be the access to 24-hour communication, which can lead to cyber-bullying. 

Niche Market Dating Sites

After reading an article from Glamour magazine, it was brought to my attention the different dating sites. I never thought about dating sites beyond the basic, match.com and eharmony but there are many sites created for a specific characteristic or demographic. As I was talking to my mom about this topic she informed me that two of our close family friends met on a site for tall people. It shouldn’t surprise me that these sites exist but it sparked my interest to investigate other obscure sites. I found a range of sites designed for college students to seniors, tall to plus-sized people, political orientation to eating habits, and also religious beliefs.

The online dating industry has transformed from the basic, male seeking women and women seeking male options. Once these sites have become mainstream, companies are beginning to focus on niche markets.

I became familiar with a dating site designed for college students when I studied at New York University last year. At that point the site was only available to about twenty colleges but now it has expanded nation-wide. DateMySchool was created to connect college students from the same campus or surrounding universities. The students on Date My School are searching for a partner who shares similar educational and career ambitions.

College students to elders, there is a site for everyone. I found that there are various dating sites for people who are older than 50 as well. It may be difficult for seniors to find a partner once they have gone through life’s challenges. Therefore, they turn to the online environment to find someone who is in a similar situation.

“The fastest growing group of subscribers for online dating was the 50-plus-age segment in the U.S.” -LehmanBrothers Equity Research

Another niche market in the online dating industry is for body-type. My family friends joined TallFriends.com in order to find someone who is taller than 6’ 5’’. In a mid-sized town it was difficult for them to find the time to meet people amidst their work schedules, let alone someone taller than them. A dating site in the news right now is TheBigAndTheBeautiful.com due to their offer to Adele to become the face of their plus-sized dating site.

ChristianMingle.com

The commercials for ChristianMingle.com seem to haunt me, since I see them about five times a day. However, the site is one of popular sites for people looking for a partner who is a specific religion. There are also sites for Jewish, Mormon, and Muslim people. I believe that if religion was a major concern for someone when choosing a partner, a religion-focused dating site would be convenient.

As I researched the various options that are out there for dating sites, I truly believe that there is one for everyone. All of these sites prove that everyone’s soul mate is out there; you may just have to find them online. 

21st Century Dating

There is no doubt that thanks to the technological advances of the 21^st century the dating scene has changed. In my previous posts, I discussed how couples interact for the first time through text messages and also how long distance relationships are maintained easier with technology. About every 1 in 5 relationships begin online through either social media sites or an online dating service.

Today, when stating you met someone online is no different than expressing you met them a drunken night in a bar.  Online dating has provided the opportunity to be exposed to many different types of people you may not have had the chance to meet in an offline setting. My family friend works about 50 hours a week on night shifts so she has no time to go out to a bar with girlfriends to try and meet a guy. After realizing she did not want to be alone anymore she signed up for a dating service. She was able to meet her now steady boyfriend on the site but if she did not bother signing up who knows when she would have been able to meet someone outside of her workplace.

Another aspect to online dating that is different from years ago is that people are able to communicate with multiple people simultaneously. This concept has coined the term multi-dating. The benefit of multi-dating is that if one date goes terribly wrong, you have the ability to ask the next person on your profile out. There is a comfort in knowing that you have the chance to explore all of your options. You are also able to meet a variety of people in a short amount of time, which makes it easier to pinpoint the exact type of person you are searching for.

“The people who created the "dating multiple people at once is cool" philosophy must have been brilliant. They were able to come up with a way to keep dating vague and fun, without running the risk of getting in trouble or having other people hold it against you if you saw more than one person at a time.” –Shine.com

So far, multi-dating sounds like a breeze. However, there are downfalls to the game of multi-dating. Askmen.com has a long list of cons including, huge time commitment, expensive, risk of harming your reputation and you may pass up your soul mate if you are not giving everyone enough time or attention. 

 

Dating sites have their advantages besides being able to meet unexpected people or the ability for multi-dating. Once you have interacted with a particular person for a while online you are able to understand how the feel and the way they think in great detail since they have to write it out. If the person you are talking with does not spark your interest anymore it is much easier to back out than it would be on a real live date. You are also able to be yourself online without the fear of what to wear and how to do your hair for a night on the town in attempts to meet someone. At the point you are comfortable meeting someone in person you will feel confident and hopefully the conversation will be never ending.

Online dating has progressed throughout the years and is starting to become the norm. There have been many success stories through online interactions, just watch any online dating service commercial. 

Long Distance Relationships

Relationships in college are difficult enough to maintain when you both attend the same school, personally speaking, so I could not imagine attempting a long distance relationship. However, one of my best friends has been in a serious long distance relationship for two years and somehow is making it last. She is having better luck with her boyfriend who lives in Denver than I am having with my boy living a mile away. So, I have to ask how does one maintain a long distance relationship? Her response: constant communication. There is no doubt that with today’s modern technology maintaining a relationship is effortless compared to 50 years ago.

Shockingly, a study found that about half of college students are in a long distance relationship and 75% will be at some point. Thankfully for these couples, the availability of constant communication has progressively changed throughout the recent years.  Video conferencing programs like IChat Face Time and Skype have drastically changed the dating scene. The sight of their loved one can comfort a couple even if they are across 5 different time zones. Being a busy college student, it can be difficult to coordinate my schedule with another person so planning a regular video chat session would be critical in a long distance relationship. However, Askmen.com suggests to make sure you let your partner know in advance if you are going to miss your video chat “date” just like you would with a business or group meeting.

A Glamour Magazine reader stated, “We Skype at night as we're getting ready for bed, but we also leave it on all night to have a "sleepover." Then, we can wake up together, get ready together, and hang out when we have time in the morning. It makes a huge difference and it's lovely to see him right when I wake up, almost as if we're really together.” I am unsure of how many couples would actually take that much effort into a online date but if that is the secret to making the relationship work, I’m not judging.

The other obvious form of communication couples use is text messaging. The basic text message has also revolutionized, as programs of bbm and Imessage are becoming the norm.  There is practically no excuse not to be texting your partner at all times besides if you are in class or at work of course! These programs allow couples to send emoticons to one another so if a kiss is impossible; a kissy face emoticon implies it. Many couples also send that steamy text or "sext" to let their lover know they are thinking about them.

As I stated in a previous post, a phone call is always a nice surprise as well. Even though a traditional phone call seems extinct with all these other technological advancements, it is still critical to the success of a long distance relationship. Instant messaging is another channel to communicate with your partner during the time you spend at the computer. 

The popularity of long distance relationships are increasing and with today's technology it seems practically effortless to maintain these relationships. Of course being with your partner would be ideal but until then, be thankful for texting and video chat. 

Password Sharing

As I discussed in my previous post, technology has been changing how relationships develop. Years ago, a couple displayed their love for each other by offering a letterman jacket or giving a fraternity pin to a new girlfriend. The new generation’s connection to technology has changed the way couples show their love. The current trend amongst teenagers is to share their passwords to email accounts and social media sites with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

These days the majority of the information we consider private can be found on our computers or cellphones. Personally, I have two passwords to access my computer and a passcode on my IPhone. I was shocked to hear about this new trend of password sharing since I consider a lot of my information on my computer as private. Also, I would not want someone to be able to access my Facebook or Twitter since there could be a lot of damage done very quickly.

Google Images

According to The New York Times January 2012 article, “They say they know such digital entanglements are risky, because a souring relationship can lead to people using online secrets against each other. But that, they say, is part of what makes the symbolism of the shared password so powerful.” Couples are beginning to share their passwords because they feel it’s a sign of trust. They are showing their partner that there is nothing to hide from one another.

“Trust is an important bedrock for any relationship, but this isn’t trust. This is mutually assured trust destruction. Intimacy comes from sharing select private information with people, not giving them keys to your privacy kingdom.” -Forbes

However, if the relationship was to dissolve the damage that can be done with access to a social media account for example could be extensive. The Forbes article stated that once you share your password you are violating the privacy of the people you have interacted with too. I agree with that statement because people share plenty of personal information via email or social media that they probably do not want to be read by anyone’s partner as well.

The expert, Rosalind Wiseman who studies how teenagers use technology believes that the pressure to share a password is similar to the pressure to have sex. Educators and parents stress how important it is not to share personal information such as a password. Since it is so forbidden by our parents Rosalind Wiseman believes it seems more attractive to share a password, much like how teens view sex.

A child psychologist stated, “What worries me is we haven’t done a very good job at stopping kids from having sex, so I’m not real confident about how much we can change this behavior.” 

Passwords are more than just a combination of letters and numbers or some other confusing requirement by the website, they are literally a key to loads of information. People need to be selective to whom they decide to share this key with and my advice is to keep as it should be, a secret word to access information for your eyes only.

From Courting to Texting

As a new generation where technology consumes our everyday life the act of being courted in a relationship is essentially nonexistent. Personally, as a twenty-year old girl I have never had a man show up at my doorstep with flowers or throwing rocks at my window. However, I have gotten my fair share of "Hey, Whats up? Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" text messages. I do not know if men do not have the courage these days to show up unexpectedly or if they are taking advantage of the convenience of texting. 

According to, Your Tango, a dating advice website, texting should not be present before the first date because it can lead to opportunities for miscommunication. Therefore, it is suggested that we use the new technology of a cellphone for its main purpose, to call someone.

"Relationships can end today, simply because a cell phone is lost, a battery is dead, or the device is misplaced. Not getting a text, can be overreacted to and effect the relationship unless the partners have some ground rules and understanding." -Psychology Today

PsychologyToday states that texting is extremely low on the intimacy hierarchy since there is less social interaction. Talking on the phone and meeting in person provide more intimacy but also cause more social anxiety.  I am more likely text someone I just met because I think if I would call they would be confused, as if we were moving too fast. The few men I have dated were the ones who were not afraid to call just to say hi or see what I was doing at the moment, even in the beginning stages of our relationship.

According to AskMen.com, “The worst downfalls in text communication come with people that you know well enough to speak with but not well enough to pick up the phone and chat with.” I have a particular friend that develops friendships and even attempts to begin an intimate relationship via texting. When the time comes to meet up with the guy she dodges the thought of even picking up the phone to call him. How is one expected to spend the next couple of hours with a person if they have never heard their voice before?

Our society has become so accustomed to the convenience of texting that everyone uses it and forgets the old fashion way of courting. I am not expecting a man to show up with a bouquet of roses on my doorstep in order to get my attention. However, I believe that every girl would appreciate some courting every once and awhile even if it is just a phone call.